Call Me Crazy!

But nothing...not even THIS

is going to stop me from getting to Northhampton tonight. The plans were made two months ago to be a guest at their Share meeting, to watch and listen, to learn and (the best perk of all) to stay over at Carol's house and pick her brain about start-up until she felt like she'd taken three final exams in a row!

Ok - it looks nasty out. All right - it IS really nasty, but I'll go slow and I'll make it. And, what I take away from the experience will far more valuable than the effort it takes to get there!

Even so - want to shout out a quick prayer for my safe travel? (A confirmation of my nuttiness would be allright too)

Show and Tell: The Making of a Memory Box

"...the Tyrrells are going to offer something tangible for grieving parents to hold onto. Jeremiah is a craftsman and has created what Cara calls a memory box, a wooden box in which parents can store mementos to remind them of their child. Jeremiah will make the first 20 boxes before turning the project over to the industrial arts students at Green Mountain Union High School in Chester."In a way, this might prepare them, because chances are one of these boys and girls will be touched by this later in life," Cara says." - Rutland Herald Article

And how I hope my words are lies. I pray that none of these boys and girls that make memory boxes in the woodshop class are ever touched by childloss. But, the statistics are against me - against them. Chances are, at least a few will utter the words, "Oh My! Now I know what that crazy lady and her husband were trying to do all those years ago."

And so...The Making of A Memory Box (or 20 - all at once!)

The Tops

And Tops...and More Tops...and Lots-O-Feet

And Stacks of Sides...

Edging, Edging, Edging

And what job is complete without a little helper, who was "very busy" taking tape off the I-don't-know-whats.

And then there is the glueing. He stresses the word for the sheer masses of glueing one must do to create the finished box. Although my dear husband will never read this, I must say - Thank you my sweet for supporting this mission in the way you know how - woodworking. Your talents are much appreciated.

Thanks for checking our production line out and - now - go see what everyone else is showing and telling.

Laughter and Understanding

Thanks everyone for your ability to laugh with me. The love and understanding I feel through this glossy screen is just amazing.

Now, to get a few bodies in the room - in the state that I live in!

Seriously, I KNOW its coming. This vision is so clear and the need is so great.

Wednesday, I am going through two local towns and distributing the brochures and cards!

So - I bid you adeau until next week's show and tell...

Come on back for ...."The making of a Memory Box!"

In grief and love,
cara

Show and Tell - Beliefs and Realities

SSV's site is a Show & Tell virgin, but it's time has come! With our first meeting under our belt and a HOST of ideas and planning happening - it is time to SHARE with you.

First, let me tell you a few things about my belief system. I believe it is important to:

1. Always be 5 minutes early.

2. Always be well prepared, obsessevily prepared is better.

3. Always bring chocolate when you bring tissues.

4. Always admit your mistakes

5. And - (most importantly) - ALWAYS be able to laugh at yourself

With that said, it's storytime.

"Oh God, please let some people show up. Just a few. A good beginning, core group." I said to myself as I drove to meet the one other bereaved mother I knew was coming. The box shifted in the backseat. It held everything I thought I needed, and more, to run an effective first meeting.

It held the buntings, a small lending library, my binder, Emma's scrapbook, the first memory box, pens, napkins, tissues, parent packets and CHOCOLATE!

We arrived at the gorgeous building that had been erected only two years ago. Wow - we really are so lucky that a meeting room was available. I thought as we walked in the front door at 6:30pm. (meeting started at seven)

"Hi, Can I help you?" the lady at the very formal sliding window asked with a skeptical glance.

"Oh, no thank you" I said "We are with Share - pregnancy and infant loss support. Scott will be meeting us in just a few minutes to show us to our room." He had told me so when I confirmed on Monday.

"Um, Scott?" she said, clearly confused. "We don't have any Scott on staff and I know nothing about your group." Still, and speaks to the work I have done this year, I wasn't panicked - or worried in the least. That is, until she said, "And I do all the room bookings for the whole building."

Are you laughing yet? I did. What else was there left to do?

I micro-managed. I folded brochures. I stuffed parent packets. I created an agenda. I called to confirm. Ah yes - that call.

This is HCRS - The Health Care Rehabilitation Services Center (a state run office)

Nice, huh? Well - it is NOT the building I had been calling.

This is the Health And Rehabilitation Center.

It is GREAT! It is perfect for us! It is where Scott had been waiting in the lobby for 20 minutes.

We rushed over as my prayers did a 180. "Please God, DON'T let anyone else come. Please! Please!" I mean, what could be worse than finding the courage to attend your first support meeting only to arrive at the wrong building and be re-directed across town?

And so, my prayers were answered! My meeting partner and I were the only two. It was a perfect first meeting. We got a great deal done. We began planning our Mother's Day memory walk. We drafted our brochure and cover letter for doctor's offices. And, the best part, we got to know each other even better, sharing more of our loss stories.

And within 48 hours... The flyers were done.
The business cards were done.



And we have begun distrubuting to local offices.

So - let's review:

1. Always be 5 minutes early. (just barely)
2. Always be well prepared, obsessevily prepared is better. (check)
3. Always bring chocolate when you bring tissues. (what do you think was in the plastic bag?)
4. Always admit your mistakes (I just did!)
5. And - (most importantly) - ALWAYS be able to laugh at yourself (I still am, are you?)

I leave you with this:

If you are from the blogosphere - thanks for reading and laughing with me.

If you live locally and plan on attending the group someday - know that I will never have expectations of you. Clearly - I have no right - as I can't even call the right number! I WILL, however, always be early, set up and ready with tissues and chocolate.

But, please, come to the Springfield HEATH AND REHABILITATION CENTER at 105 Chester Rd. for I WILL NOT be at the HCRS building - again- looking sheepishly at a phone book where a four letter word, or lack there of, sent me uptown when I should have been down.

A Born Leader

That is what everyone used to say to me. And - with good reason. I was born with leadership qualities!

• I organized the library in my room in alphabetical order at 9 years old. Then created a pre-excel spreadsheet just in case you decided to check one out.
• I was the kid all other kids nominated to do stuff (probably because they didn't want to do it themselves - but hey, I got a reputation)
• I made my own Babysitter's Club Activity Travel Box. (ok maybe that is more nerdy than leadership)
• I attended the Governer's Institute over the Summer!
• I was the chosen state delegate for HOBY - (Hugh O'Brian's Youth Leadership Foundation) [Remember Wyatt Earp?]
• Ect., ect., ect.

This not an excerpt from my resume, well at least not my current one, but a way to demonstrate that I have never feared leadership roles. I embraced them.

But tonight I am nervous. 48 hours from now I will be sitting in a room with other bereaved mothers facilitating a communication session that is supposed to make them feel like they accomplished something by coming. The optimal result is someone walking out the door thinking, This is something I am going to do for myself every month because I need to - because it feels good to sit with other people who know this kind of pain.

I read the guidbook. I copy and organize papers - packet for new participants, website information and literary resources. But, no amout of preparedness or strong-arming leadership will gain me that result.

It is time to have faith in the process, yet again. It is time to accept that whatever happens in that room, I can handle it.

A few words of encouragement wouldn't be discouraged. And, if you feel like feeding the "need-to-control" beast and have attended a Share meeting before, comment with your advice on what worked for you, what didn't, and what you always hoped to see in the future.

In grief and love (and faith!)

Cara

WELCOME...

To the Share Southern Vermont (SSV)homepage! Our first meeting is this Wednesday and if you are local and would like to attend please see above for details.

To the blogoshpere at large...a question:

As a chapter of Share National 5% of our annual fundraising efforts are donated back to the National office.

We, SSV, would like to match that donation and give it to a miscarriage and/or stillbirth research foundation that is actively working to solve some of the mysteries surrounding why and how we lose our babies.

Do you know of any good ones???

PLEASE Comment with the name of the foundation and how you found out about them.

THANK YOU!!!